fireflymouth: (Default)
[personal profile] fireflymouth
1. I would re-live every rainspeckled midnight second in your sweater if I could.....knowing I can't have that with you, or anyone else for that matter, again.....breaks my heart.

2. I wish you knew what I gave up for you.

3. I have a crush on you. But I know you will overlook me, so I stay silent and wish you happiness.

4. I wish you would stop making me feel like I'm not important to you. It hurts more than I let you believe.

5. You saved my life and you will never know it.

6. I'm not sorry for having been honest. I meant what I said. I'm glad you seem to have taken my advice. The world needs you.

7. You disgust me. If I ever happen to see you again, I will find a way to hurt you. Mark my words.

8. Nemesis has my'll find that out very soon.

9. I still wish I didn't have to give up on you.

10. Have I ever said I loved you in a way that you believed it? I feel like I never have.

.....and I'm too out of it for this. I can't cry any more.

Less than four years and it's over.

Bless you, Time.

Date: 2010-05-05 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*hugs* gah, that was hard just reading that, if you need someone to talk to, let me know...

Date: 2010-05-06 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thanks, but this was....well, cathartic, for lack of a better term. like writing an anonymous letter you don't intend to send, or having a postcard published on PostSecret. some of the people these were intended for will read them, others never will; it doesn't really matter either way.

Date: 2010-05-05 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Aw, this made me sad ;-; If you need anything I'll be here for you :)

Date: 2010-05-06 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thank you. :)

Date: 2010-05-05 03:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I will hug you soon!

Date: 2010-05-06 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
that is good. Let me know when you have decided when you want to visit and we will start making plans. :)

Date: 2010-05-05 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
OMG, these posts make me so paranoid. But knowing you, you wouldn't post something mean about me like this, you'd just tell me. I actually removed an LJ friend over one of these posts a long time ago, because she did 20 statements that were so cutting and nasty that I couldn't stay friends with someone who thought those kind of thoughts about her "friends," but wouldn't say them to their faces.

Date: 2010-05-05 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Er, maybe "mean" wasn't the best word. I don't think you're actually being mean, just honest.

Date: 2010-05-06 02:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The point of this entry was essentially that these are things I want to say to ten specific people but I'm scared to. You know that I'm not really afraid to say much, so it was a hard entry to write and I was feeling fragile at the time as it was.

Most of the people in this list won't ever read what I've written here -- or if they ever did, it probably wouldn't register to them that they were the ones I was talking to. The nastier ones aren't written about/to anyone I consider a friend, though. Notice that this is a public entry -- just in case....

I guess for all my confidence, it's still difficult for me to tell people when they disappoint me. Especially if I care about them, because I know that people who are truly important to me don't tend to do those kinds of things on purpose, they're just human beings.

None of these is addressed to you, if that helps, though.

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